Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes.
Patient: And how much will it cost?
Dentist: It's $90.00.
Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work???
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.
"I came in to make an appointment with the dentist." said the man to the receptionist.
"I'm sorry sir." she replied. "He's out right now, but..."
"Thank you," interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. "When will he be out again ?"
A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."
"You're a brave man," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."
The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."
Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock ball game.
Patient: "Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?"
Dentist: "Wear a brown tie..."
"I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your boy's tooth."
"Hundred dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only twenty dollars for such work!"
"Yes," replied the dentist, "but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the office."
Dentist - "Open wider please - wider"
Patient - "A-A-A--Ah."
Dentist (inserting rubber gag, towel and sponge) - "How's your family?"
Patient - "Do you extract teeth painlessly?"
Dentist - "Not always - the other day I nearly dislocated my wrist."
Dentist - "You needn't open your mouth any wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand outside."
Willie - "I have an awful toothache."
Tommie - "I'd have it taken out if it was mine."
Willie - "Yes, if it was yours, I would, too."
Victim - "Hey, that wasn't the tooth I wanted pulled."
Dentist - "Calm yourself, I'm coming to it."
Gerald - "Have you ever come across a man who, at the slightest touch, caused you to thrill and tremble in every fiber of your being?"
Mabel - "Yes, the dentist."
"Mummy, that dentist wasn't painless like he advertised."
"Why, did he hurt you?"
"No! but he yelled just like any other dentist when I bit his finger."
Judge (in dentist chair) - "Do you swear that you will pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?"
Dentist (to talkative patient) - "Open your mouth and shut up."
"I had a most enjoyable time at the dentist's this afternoon."
"I don't see how that could be."
"It's true, When I went in another dentist was working on my dentist's teeth."
Jones (meeting friend) - "Why the broad grin?"
Brown - "I've just come from my dentist's."
Jones - "Is that anything to laugh about?"
Brown - "Yes - he wasn't in and won't be for two days."
I believe that the members of the dental profession are the only men who can tell a women to open or close her mouth and get away with it.
Dinah had been having trouble with an ulcerated tooth for some time before she got up enough courage to go to a dentist. The moment he touched her tooth she screamed bloody murder.
"What are you making such noise for?" demanded the doctor. "Don't you know that I'm a 'painless dentist'?"
"Well, sir," retorted Dinah, "maybe you are painless, but I ain't."
Dentists are incapable of asking questions that require a simple yes or no answer.
Maybe the magazines one finds in the dentist's waiting-room are put there to indicate how long the dentist has been practising.
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well
that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few
drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then
washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and
washes his hands.
The girl watches him and says, "You must be a
The guy, surprised, says "Yes ... how did you figure
The girl says, "Easy... you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love.
After they were done, the girl says, "You must be a
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Yes, I sure am
a great dentist... How did you figure that out?"
The girl says, "Easy... I didn't feel a thing!"